All diary entries submitted are from the students of the Shoemaker Bugle. For confidentiality of our personal lives, we’re using code names instead of just the plain “anonymous.” The diaries are for readers to feel less alone and have someone to relate to.
I made a big change in my life and I think it might have been the best thing I have ever done for myself. At the cost of my grades, I decided that I would simply do what I want. My grades have never been worse, but I don’t care and it is so refreshing not to care. I feel like I put so much pressure on myself when I tried to keep up with school and at first it was easy, but as time went it just got harder.
My grades have never been worse. It’s not like I do it on purpose; I just feel so off. I am not myself. School feels like it’s getting tougher, I don’t have motivation to do much really. I really want life to go back to normal, to be honest. Hopefully soon I get more motivation and start to do things I love. I really miss it.
I’ve overcome my procrastination phase. Seeing my final grade for semester one made me disappointed in myself. I could have done a lot better. I didn’t make a plan to get better grades this semester but only to do the work the day it’s assigned, or at least start it. Once I open an assignment, I loathe doing it so much I rush myself through it to get it done as soon as possible. It has worked so far, only with weekends being actual weekends for me, I don’t open my laptop until school starts on Monday, so sometimes the Sunday homework piles itself up.
Other than school, life is becoming entertaining. I started journaling, reading, and watching TV again, but if anything gets boring after a few minutes I stop and listen to music instead.
Graduation is letting itself through the door soon and I’m happy as I am frightened. I still do not want to go to college, but with the non stop talk about it from my parents, I’m bound to go. I might just drop out the first semester. I hope I don’t, but I know myself and I can see it in my future. Sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do.